The Unheard Thoughts of an Awkward Debutante

California's top court legalizes marriage:

Thu, 15 May 2008 22:50:18 GMT

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080515/ap_on_re_us/gay_marriage;_ylt=ApnpOe62yepYsfsGbO5BJHys0NUE

damn lj messing with my image quality...

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 00:29:21 GMT

comp apps practice in illustrator

finished version

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 23:22:39 GMT

tattoo phase 1

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 04:07:06 GMT

close up ish

perspectively how big the first square is

sat for nearly 5 hours. took it like a champ. brad seriously had no idea it was my first tattoo and when i told him that it wasn't afterwards he was in shock how calmly i sat. cuz it hurt like a bitch and he knew it. hurt the most in the middle and at the end of the process. and when people ask what getting a tattoo feels like, it feels like exactly what it is. a needle poking you in the back six thousand times a minute, being dragged across your skin, back and forth, tugging occassionally. it fucking hurts. but its worth it. now i just have to deal with it healing over the next three weeks. lots of lotion!

and then back to the chair in the summer for phase two- the bee/honeycomb and possibly three- the color for them.

by the way, that was exhausting. five hours of dealing with pain, and keeping yourself calm takes a lot more work than it may seem.

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 06:41:12 GMT

Being home rocks. The anything Zac related, the food and the motorcycle riding with dad part I mean. Yesterday my dad and i went to the flea market and bought my nephew a mini dauschund. Little boy 9wks old, pure breed, only a hundred dollars. Black with brown underside. Cute-ums indeed.

And my tattooing starts Thursday! Gonna sit for 3 or 4 hours and get the first part finished hopefully.

Something else made me feel good today though too. Matty called me on my cell and in a drunken playful couple's fighting way told me that he and Ty missed me. Its always nice to know someone other than your boyfriend and family misses you.

3D model, better pictures later when I get it back

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 18:19:01 GMT

"bragging about my drawing class" time

Thu, 31 Jan 2008 04:02:34 GMT

My drawing prof asked me and about three other people from our class today to make the decision by next week whether we wanted to follow the syllabus for the rest of the quarter and do three more projects, or if we (the four of us) wanted instead to work on a 30x40ish drawing in charcoal or graphite for about 100 hours of work of a crazy mother of all still lifes for the rest of the quarter to enter into a contest next quarter. It means we wont use most of the rest of our paper we bought, or the pastels, but it is a chance to have the school buy our piece from us and use it as a poster, or just win some monies/ awards. For the past three years someone from his class has won and he has judged these things before.

So yay. I am one of the best in the class. Joyful joy-ness time. He also asked the four of us to enter a portfolio of 5 pieces into a contest due Feb 15th too. Hence I was at class until 8:15 tonight >.< learning to make a nice portfolio.

My pencil drawing is coming out well too. It amazed me because I haven't done graphite since 10th grade except for contour drawings. And when we hung them up today to do working crit, mine was the first pointed out by him and the class that it was coming along really well and stood out against the rest. Lol, he said no stumping on this drawing, but during class today he came over and handed me a stump and was like don't tell anyone, but just use it and go really slowly and tediously with it so it comes out right... because typically he thinks graphite stumped out looks like crap, but he complimented me on it after i was about half way done with one of the cameras I was doing. I'm so glad he let me because before I did that part looked like crap, I don't care what everyone was saying. And I'm glad he trusted me to pull it off too. I like that part a lot now. The metal actually looks like metal, and the clock looks more like it has glass over the front of it. Now I need to finish the aluminum cans and the shadows on the wall mostly.

I promise I will have pictures up of it by the end of the week. Sunday I'll have it finished for sure (since its due Monday, and I'll be out of town Friday through Saturday night or possibly Sunday afternoon-ish.

my brain is speaking jibberish that my fingers can't understand.

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 08:30:21 GMT

Thank you again Hillary for the icons. They are awesome. <3

I leave Friday afternoon for Tally, then Saturday for Savannah. I have mixed emotions on going back. I most definitely want to go back because I love the school and all my friends there. Savannah is a happy place for me. But the break has been so long that, even though I didn't feel it up until this past week, home is starting to feel like home again. And I am realizing, but it isn't setting in and won't until Friday when I say goodbye againn, that I wont see Zac for even longer this time, and when I do its only a week in between and then another length of time before we really get to hang out. Also the few friends that I have seen while home I know I am going to miss this time while gone. And another couple of them who have me confused.. in different ways. I don't know what to do about them. BWah...

The rain is finally gone I think. No more headaches this week hopefully. But it is getting colder now. Yay for coats and hats.

I need to go see Brad... maybe he finished my tattoo drawing? Hopefully... I would like to start it but it doesn't look like I will so far... He is doing awesome though with the drawing.

grins

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 08:02:47 GMT

    Zachary completely made it up to me for the not so enjoyable birthday and days surrounding it today. Around 12:30 he came over to my house with gerber daisy bouquet in hand, and then proceeded to take me out to get a salad and smoothie for lunch since dinner was going to be big, then to panama city to the maze where we spent about an hour getting lost and running around. Dead ends were fun. Seeing as every dead end we both took together we stopped for a kiss. lol, this is why it took us so long. Anyway, afterwards we had a very enjoyable car ride back through seaside and down 30A. Its so nice not to have others in the car with you for a good 20-30 minute drive. Anyway ^_^ we went to the Commons to walk around for a bit and lol, we went to build a bear and he got me a bear which we dressed in hello kitty undies and a blue button up shirt- quite cute i must say. Then we went to Zoo Gallery and they had ugly dolls in a small abundance so I got Toodee, a lavender colored one.

    When we were done walking around we had reservations at the Melting Pot, a fondue restaurant.. D'omg... it was sooo good. We spent like two hours there eating and cooking up foods, and resting up for following courses. We got the Fondue Fusion Big Night Out.. First course is a mediterranean mix cheese fondue with bread, veggies and apples to dip. Then Athenian salad for second course. Third course was the meal of veggies, and a plate of meat to cook ourselves (in a pot of broth with herbs, mushrooms, and burgundy wine) consisting of lobster tail, filet mingon, steak, shrimp, pork, chicken, and two different pasta pieces served with like.. 15 different sauces to dip in. Then the best part was desert fourth course. Milk chocolate sauce with Bailey's Irish Cream mixed in. Cheesecake, pound cake, marshmellows, rice crispies, strawberries and bananas to dip in it...   They served just enough of everything for the two of us to enjoy without being uncomfortable when we left but still being full. It was so perfect. And the atmosphere was incredible.

    After dinner we went to his house and well... that's where my story ends ^_^. We'll just say I'm feeling a whole lot better than I have over most of the break at home. Especially after recently how things have been going.. and my hamster kiwi dying the other day too. I think it might have been minor depression setting in on me? But all is well now. My head is cleared of my main problems for the most part (after many a long discussions yesterday with zac and crying fits and such). Thanks to my more than wonderful Zachary. Thank you darlin' <3

Merry Britmas to me...

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 07:21:55 GMT

Well, Britmas unfortunately went about as well as I thought it would for me this year. The Hoffman's last night was more exciting than my actual Christmas and birthday at home. I did get the pea coat I wanted, and some luggage (for birthday) so I don't have to use the ridiculous cardboard boxes anymore. I got a few cd's but I picked them out for my parents to buy while at Best Buy (where in fact they were buying my brother and sister a 360 and ddr for it...) They also got digital cameras, and Marvin a psp, and swords as well and erica a new ipod. I got a new digital camera that i wasnt expecting but kinda hoping for in general, but after looking over the book and the camera itself, it seems like the one they picked out was actually a step down in quality from my trusty cannon... I might go look and see if there is a cannon i like better or a different nikon to exchange for... whatev. I got new disney dvds though. And some clothes from Grama White that I picked out, and also had to wrap myself (that was fun). I also got some other random gifts, i dont remember them all though... I did get a bit of money though from my older sis, mom, and Grama Bayer and aunt in tally.
Haha, my brother mispelled my name on my birthday card. But at least he made up for it with the gift. He got me a frog necklace with the rice in it with my name engraved... its really cute. It almost looks more like a grasshopper because the back is so long though, hehe.

Zac got me a collector's beatles yellow submarine calendar and a bright purple bathrobe, but i picked them out too and got them early. I told him to plan us a date (which he rarely does because he is always afraid i wont enjoy myself) and take me to dinner for our monthly-day/christmas/birthday celebration together. So that will be Thursday. He also promised to help me pay for my tattoo once Brad is done drawing it and we can get it started (the drawing is coming along beautifully by the way but spring break might have to be my starting time if he doesnt finish my the end of the week or early next week).
I was kinda hoping for some flowers or something like zac normally does, but oh well. Leave it to Brittany to be girly when least expected...

I got him two books he's been wanting- the second part of the alyss in wonderland wars books, and a book from a series about dragons- a pack of lime green playing cards for the loading dock,new avatar cologne, and some racing grannies for him and luke to play with. I'm also in the process of painting him a picture.. its huge... >.<
His parents got him a Wii and an acoustic guitar.

For my birthday dinner tonight, which i still didnt get to pick entirely what i wanted, we had a standing rib roast that was almost a disaster, scalloped potatoes, and orange glazed carrots. I had to make the scalloped potatoes and help with the carrots and bernaisse sauce for the meat (which we followed the wrong version of th recipe so it wasnt all that great either). Oh and my parents forgot to get the stuff for my sister to make her crabcakes so we didnt have those unfortunately.

Blah... At least I've gotten to enjoy the cd's i got today- muse, coheed, paramore, and motion city. i've been jammin in my room on and off. one of the few things that made me happy.

The family didn't do too much yelling today though so that was a plus. And I got to spend the whole day with Zachary, even though he slept for a while because he stayed up all night playing the Wii. We also watched Peter Pan.

Fri, 21 Dec 2007 09:27:10 GMT

The IB luncheon/Diploma ceremony was today. Went just as I figured it would. Everyone had to say something about the hair. The people I expected to be, well... to be douches, were. I was glad to see a few people, but then others were just awkward to talk to. They mostly still have this IB group mentality thing, and most of them still lack social skills with people other than "IB kids". I notice the ones that do have those skills didnt seem to fit in quite right yet again today at the luncheon (which was cold cut sandwiches, chips and carrots might i add). And they showed out senior ib video again... again. i mean, i enjoyed some of the pictures. but i wasnt in many of them, so it wasnt really much of a reminiscing event for me like it was for the others. lol, but tom kinda of felt like an ass because he realized just how few events i was invited to even though we've been buddies since first or second grade and always had advisory and classes together. tom was still always one of the ones i liked out of the in group though.

meh. i'll add more later. i am actually getting tired. its a miracle.

all rainbows an' shit

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 04:34:47 GMT

haha, is it sad when your hair most nearly matches your rainbow socks?

Last night was the Frosty the Showman Concert in Pcola. T'was quite an awesome show. Worked our way up to second row from the rail at the stage. Saw Another Animal, Alter Bridge, Papa Roach, and Three Days Grace. Zac caught a tdg bass guitar pick for me (he caught a papa roach one at the last show we saw before tool ^_^).

Question though. If you are handicapped in a wheel chair and show up after the first band has already played and everyone is crammed in the floor anyway, wouldn't you sit in disablity seating rather than the floor pit? Some girl and her posse were trying to move forward to the front row with their wheel chair friend after Another Animal played and expected everyone to move for them so that they could all move forward. We all paid the same amount and had showed up hours early for the show to get out places in the crowd. Now, I see handicapped people as my equal. They have every right that I and anyone else has. So shouldn't this girl and her group with the guy in the wheelchair either show up early to get to the front like anyone else, or get handicapped seating as to be able to see everything perfectly (and better than us even), and even to not have to worry about protecting the man from moshing, drunks grinding you (i'll tell you about that one in a sec), and crowd surfers galore? They were using him as their excuse to push forward, and then their friends were moving in around the side of him to get up front as well thus pushing aside the people that waited standing for hours to get their place in the front.

As for the grinding drunks. Half way through the papa roach show this girl and her friend push through the crowd up to the front and are pushing into me and these other chicks to try and get in front of us. Well the one that was pushing was druuuuuunnk. Well, I push back, because I am not losing my spot where i can actually see the show for her, and she leans into me and says, "I like yooou... you're strooong.." and I'm like what the fuck? her friend is texting on her cell and I asked her is she was with her and if so then she needed to do something about her especially as drunk as she was. she let her friend to grind all over the back of the australian girl in front of us and push into me and a military girl next to me. then she was putting her hands behind me between zac and i and zac grabbed her arm and threw it back around, her fighting it and putting force into us, pushing us into our neighbors. then she turns and begins grinding my leg and rubbing on me. i dealt with it because i was the strongest girl around her, and like, lol i was elbowing her in the tits trying to get her to leave. eventually I finally got her friend to do something about it and she talked her into going.... I prolly wouldn't have minded her so much if she hadn't been rude and drunk. But she was just over the top. it sucked cuz I basically didn't get to enjoy nearly half of the papa roach show, my favorite of the bands there. at least I've seen him before...

Then two drunk old hags in skanky outfits were trying to start crap with the guy behind us and trying to push to the front calling the guy a pussy and then saying to the security guards that he was the one starting stuff. everyone had his back though. they left before the tdg show came on luckily.

At least it wasn't drunk old men, cuz those I can't control so much. They are a bit scarier. Women drunk I can at least handle though, lol.

Laterrrrz.
Love and hugs all!

Ps. I read Alice in Wonderland the other day. I found a quote that basically says be yourself that I wouldnt mind getting tattooed in the idea i was thinking about doing. As soon as I get it drawn up i'll post it.

My bed feels too big.

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 08:49:50 GMT

I keep wondering if anything actually got done at home while I was in Savannah because my parents constantly have me running errands, so much so that I haven't had time to hang out with any of my (few) friends that are still around town other than my Zachary nor have I been able to get up to the school like I promised them I would this week. I just have to silence phone on Friday and go so that nobody can get a hold of me to send me to Destin three times in one day or whatever. I will gladly take texts though.
None of the other kids I know that left town are going to be back until around the 15th. Meh.

The concert is Sunday. I can't wait. I get a real reason to wear my boots and such. Since we are standing in the floor. Moshie time ^_^ yay being pushed around by lots of sweaty music drunk rock fans >.<

It feels like its been forever even though its only been two weeks. I am ready to get out of my house already, haha. And I miss seeing my friends like 2-5 times a day too.

Oh and apparently the place I was gonna work for is gonna be closing down for like three weeks so thus no job. Great.

Zac and I have been doing movie nights lately. List includes The Birdcage, Orgasmo, Chasing Amy, and Reefer Madness thus far. We will finish art school confidential tomorrow. I finally found some movies he hasn't seen so we are in the process with those this week, lol.

I'm working on and off on an alice in wonderland themed drawing. i'll take some pictures once i get more of the background done.

Wow, this was quite a random post. I have more I could say, but I don;t quite know how to say it.

Love you zac!
and hugs to the romies also!

DONE. ^______^

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 03:35:45 GMT

So, yeaah, I'll be home Sunday. I am so glad I get my man back Friday. Its going to be awesome. And the car show will be enjoyable. With him ,mom, and dad.

Hehe, I have to do all my laundry friday morning. I am out of quarters anyway. ^___________^

laterrrrr.

WIP pics

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 20:17:36 GMT

For drawing we are out in Calhoun Square to study perspective. This the area i chose to draw, and my WIP pictures of my drawing.

rocky horror

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 03:06:10 GMT

Sat, 27 Oct 2007 01:56:06 GMT

Oh, I still haven't had the chance to destroy something like I wanted to the other day. I didn't follow through yet. Anyone wanna help me? Just get mad and break something? Though I am not so frustrated as the other day with it, just because I haven't had a large project to work on since then. I need to get frustrated just so I can release it completely and get past it. It has to build before I can just rid of it. Unfortunately.

Sat, 20 Oct 2007 05:11:48 GMT

detail pic laterrrr.
about 9 hours total work in studio.today was a long day comprising about 5 hrs of it. its about (dont remember exact) 23x 30 ish. its a big'in. its due monday. also my teacher finally got nit picky for me telling me what to fix because she knows i can take it and am willing to work it and know how to work it to fix it. she says i am a more advanced student.

my color teacher also said i was one of her star students. our meeting today lasted all of a minute because she didnt know what to say other than to compliment me.

apparently mom and missy didnt know i could draw so well. that's comforting. two of the more important people in my life didnt pay attention enough to realize i actually DO have talent. -_-

and it pisses me off that mom is going through my room now that i am not there.
i need to talk to dad about that.

i am also going to ask dad about coming home with dyed hair. because i really dont want to part with it now.

i mean, he's letting me get my tattoo without saying anything...

denise found the roach tif put in her desk. she is leaving it there as a war memorial to us winning. victory is ours. now just good luck to the boys with their issues because they are obviously stressing about it.

serj tankian is amazing. he renewed my faith in music again. <3 i can t wait to get the cd.

i want to destroy something though. it's a weird feeling. don;t think i'm crazy. >.< i think it comes from creating so much lately, i need to have a balance in this process. tomorrow is the day. i vow to destroy something. or someone if need be lol. i will get matt to help, i'm sure he needs to too.

i love you my zachary.
i <2 you jaime.

peace love and destruction,
brittany

For your viewing pleasure..

Fri, 19 Oct 2007 03:59:45 GMT

^___________^ did it today. teal, pink and purple. wooters

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 03:19:53 GMT

my color theory project

new one next week.

more pictures

Wed, 10 Oct 2007 18:43:58 GMT

new finished project for shading

first project finished picture

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 21:09:35 GMT

finished project for mapping and measuring

unfinished picture, but was the first one i did- contour line drawing

alec my new favorite gay man, denise my amazing roomie, and robby with his laptop that makes light saber noises when you swoosh it. (we were watching matt and will light saber battle on cancer bridge)

Robby and Mikey (Pintaro) at an uber cheap, but pretty good japanese restaurant

my bed area-i have since added more to the walls

denise and matt! ^_^

denise yay

three famous people puppets and will

you can kinda see where i streaked my hair with dye ^_^ blue and pink, i've put in many more streaks up front since then.

yay photoshop

will, robby and pintaro's arm

and now for the videos!
http://youtube.com/profile?user=ThePinkSheepOfOz

just watch all of my videos. there are 5 total. those are my boys ^_^

more soon to come. <2!<3!

College life.

Thu, 04 Oct 2007 04:23:56 GMT

So college is pretty great. I love the new friends I've made. Of the two room mates I have one of them is pretty awesome, the other a little..crazy.

Classes are great. In my two studio classes there are like 20 people in each class and I'd say I'm in the top 3 or so people in each. In Art History I have an A so far and the teacher is pretty funny- on the first day he made a They Might Be Giants crack which immediately got my respect. All my teachers are great really. And the schedules arent too bad. FYE sucks though because it changes day and time each week and we are required to go to certain events in order to pass the class. But its only one quarter thank god.

Really, the only people I find myself missing are Zac, Jaime and Shannon, and a few members of my family. I kinda miss Sean, Brent and Sarah too. I need to email a few old teachers too to say hi.

I've already started calling Savannah home. Its weird. I'm not living here after college though. Its perfect for college but not for living.

I like being able to set my own rules for what I do. I've dyed parts of my hair blue and pink, which looked awesome by the way and i need to redo it. i stay out as long as i want. go out on the weekends. all weekend while zac was here i stayed in the hotel with him. dont have to call to check in with the parents that much.

going home at thanksgiving is going to be so weird. rules are gonna suck.

plus there wont be any epic lightsaber battles on cancer bridge to watch. or harry carry impersonations while watching demon anime porn.

that's the kind of thing us Turner kids are doing in the middle of the night.

and its true. if you are an art student, a true art student, you will have more homework than any of your friends, and you will be broke before any of them too.

My mailing address is...

Mon, 10 Sep 2007 18:40:18 GMT

Brittany N. White
SCAD-Savannah, Turner House, #609
231 W. Boundary St.
Savannah, GA 31401

if you ever get the urge to mail me something.

Let me know if you send me something so I'll remember to go get it.

^______^
Thanks!

<3<3<2

Fri, 07 Sep 2007 01:50:22 GMT

I'm in Savannah now. Day of chaos tomorrow.

I hate bridges...